The silence that I hear everyday is deafening. It's the first thing I hear after turning off the alram clock in the morning and It's the last thing I hear at night. And in between those times there are moments of silence throughout the day. Even moments when I am surrounded by people, I can hear the silence that awaits me. The sound of the front door closing as I enter this house, is one that leads to silence. Memories of times gone by are just a precursor to the silence that follows. A child rides by on his bicycle and I can hear him laugh, then once again, silence. The sound of silence echos throughout my mind and sometimes I am sure that I hear someone call my name, but as I turn to answer, there is nothing, only me and the silence the surrounds me. The walls that surround this fixture I live in, ensure silence. My ears cannot hear for the silence and my heart cannot feel because of it. These ties that bind me only hold the silence closer. The path that I have chosen to travel has brought me here, and now I stand alone, in silence. The wind will whisper every now and then, and it reminds me that this silence has not taken away my ability to hear, yet. I hope that one day it will blow loud enough, that I will never have to hear the sound of silence again.

In this crazy world we experience many things that we aren’t able to understand. We go through trials in our lives that test our faith and our ability to function in normal every day circumstances. We find ourselves looking around at others and thinking how much more fortunate we are than they, and then in the blink of an eye, our own life changes and we think there is no one else as sad as we. From the loves that we find and share, to the burdens that we help others carry, our lives are filled with trials. We learn from our parents the values that we will carry with us through life, and sooner or later, will always return to. We learn that there are people that will come into our lives for just a short time and even though we are not ready for them to leave, our destiny is different from theirs. We stand and question our existence and wish that we could see our futures, while at the same time knowing that if we could, the whole mystery and thrill of experiencing life would be void. Through change, or death, we lose the people in our lives that we love most, and at those times we feel that we will never smile or know happiness again. Then one day, you feel the sun shining on your face and you realize that somehow you are smiling again.

Life isn’t easy. Life isn’t always fair. Life is a gift that we must not take for granted. When you feel the urge to reach out to someone in friendship or to tell someone that they are special or you love them, take the time to share those feelings. So many regrets are born because of fear and so many friendships are lost because of pride.

In my life I have experienced the loss of my mother, the loss of my husband and the loss of a man that I thought I would be with forever. Through all of these I was certain that whatever else happened in my life, I would never find happiness again. But eventually the hurt got less and less and once again (after each and every time) I found something to smile about. Whether it was a memory or a story about that person, there was always something to smile about.

I have learned that the greatest gift you can give, is your time....and no matter how much time we have with someone we truely love.....it's never enough.